All I needed was the last thing I wanted…

The shame of not working. For whatever reason, where has acquired ‘shame’ come from? From within you? society? That there is this ideology that you possibly cannot contribute to society unless you are working. I have soon come to realise and accept a person’s value isn’t dependent on how much they contribute to the economy, and that hasn’t happened over night, I assure. It wasn’t until I caught up with a friend who has unfortunately been made redundant recently and wanted to take some time out for a while, and for the first time, I found myself advising her what many people have advised me, and what it is that I have come to realise over the years.

We seem to have all of these things to prove by feeling like we HAVE to work; work to be respected, for SOMEONE ELSE to see your worth, care what other people have to think… to prove something. What is it you’re trying to prove, though? Because 9/10 no one really gives a sh*t what you do or don’t do. Yes, you are going to have the opinions from others that comes from nowhere else other than boredom and nosiness into other people’s life, which is just a reflection on them and their own life void. But on the whole…if that’s the path you want then take it; it just isn’t necessarily the path for others…everyone has their own route.

I have HAD to come out of work, in the conventional sense at least. This wasn’t a decision that was made by me as such, but more of a compromise that my health, body, and mind eventually came to. If you’re going to come out of work make sure that you have a hobby, something else for you…don’t stop. This is something that will, the majority of the time, take time of going through a ‘trial and error’ and adaption of events. Don’t feel ‘worthless’ if you never completely settle down along the new path, please keep reminding yourself that many of us change jobs/careers multiple times throughout our lifetime; and still don’t know what it is that we want to do with our lives in our 40s,50s,60s, or ever. This is no different, and that is OK, as is knowing what it is you want, too. I for example went back to college and University a couple of years post diagnosis, and decided in the second year that this wasn’t the path for ME, do I regret it? Hell no. What I would regret was if I didn’t go down that route. I was diagnosed with early onset Parkin during this time and leaving was the right decision for me. I just see that as a ‘job’, and to move onto the next path, or I could re-route to this path some other time, who knows. I always keep my options open, return to previous endeavours with a different approach/mindset and more experience, or take on something that wasn’t even on my radar. These are the paths I thoroughly enjoy the most; the knowledge, experience, and self-evaluation you gain along these newly laid paths are invaluable.

Right now, well you are currently engaging in what it is am up to. Shuffles Corner. This is something I started about 6 years ago for a couple of months and have just picked it back up again this year; only with a fresh mindset, goal, and plenty of experiences that have been acquired along the way. Alongside this I am currently volunteering twice a week at my local Hope Centre Charity Shop (a Northampton based charity that tackles poverty and homelessness within the community, with the aim of improving the lives of those affected). Whilst I have volunteered at various places in the past, this one has really struck a chord with me, and one I am extremely proud to be a part of. You can check out the website for more information here

I feel that I am still contributing, something that is extremely important to me. I WANT a reason to get up in the morning, I WANT to further myself in any way that I can, I WANT to develop, I WANT to be part of society, and most importantly I WANT and NEED to do it my way for my health; in the only way I know how at the moment.


Keep on Shufflin’ everyone



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