There’s comfort in the panic…

Whilst lockdown has taken so much away from us, have you found anything that you have finally got around to doing, will continue to do, or dare I say it, anything that you will miss from lockdown ? I sure have and will…

After my relapse in October and coming out of work I have been feeling pretty helpless (something that I am guilty of feeling at times), and especially during these unprecedented times where if I wasn’t in a vulnerable group I would be more than happy to volunteer my time to helping out those on the frontline, in the community, or otherwise. Back in January I joined the gym, now this was the first time in 7 years that I had stepped back into one after being completely traumatised from falling off of treadmills and losing bladder control etc just before I was diagnosed. The events of my gym life scars are mentioned in this blog. I have been wanting to tone up after losing some weight, but more importantly start moving my body and working with what I am able to do after slowly starting to return to my amazing mad agility skillz (and not let what I can’t/struggle to do hold me back). My balance and coordination is rather shocking, and taking up swimming had been suggested to me to assist with this. Other than the odd spa day, I haven’t subjected the British public to me in a swim suit for many, many years (although like many, I am absolutely comfortable parading around in one abroad, obviously). So swim suit on, winter legs shaved, off I trotted to the pool 3 / 4times a week with swimming and doing aqua aerobic classes and after a couple of months I was starting to feel and notice the benefits all around (physically and mentally). The PLAN was to start entering the gym after a few months of pool antics, but Covid-19 had other ideas. This brings me to the first lockdown activity that I have been doing which will remain part of my life (like how that nicely linked up?).

After a week or so of being in a strop from being in lockdown due to various symptoms starting to come about, I started joining in with Joe Wicks PE classes now and then over video calls with the kids in my family who were doing it. What started off with me initially just doing this half arsed (if that) to spend time chatting to the kids and other members of the family in the morning, has now turned into me religiously doing these classes FULL ARSED on a Monday, Wednesday, and Friday , with going out for walks on a Tuesday, Thursday and/or Saturday (where energy permits). This is most definitely something that I shall continue to do post lockdown; not only will I be able to take up my pool exercises again, but I shall now be doing a mix of home work outs and wait for it… entering the gym!

I made a list of things that I wanted to do, well more needed to do around the home and with general life admin. I needed to gloss my flat, I absolutely detest glossing but it really needed doing, and through a lot of frustration I finally completed it. Yes, it has brightened the home up a lot but I do refuse to do it again for at least another 10 years. I have sorted out so many draws, my shoe cupboard, an ottoman and random corners of accumulated crap, but I have however drawn the line at sorting my garage out. That task will require longer than the end of time… so I’ll save that for another world pandemic circa 2087 (that’s just a year I think has a ‘pandemic’ie’ ring to it, that’s all). My bus pass has been renewed, as well as my cinema CEA (carer) card, and rearranging my trip to America that I was meant to be going on in July – I’m absolutely nailing life admin here guys.

With all the mundane stuff out of the way, now is the time to live on the wild side with a 1000 piece  jigsaw puzzle, a mindfulness activity book, writing various ramblings, and for the best thing that I have achieved during this lockdown – my 5d diamond painting. I stumbled across this when I was looking for drawing stuff on amazon, it was definitely something different that I had never heard of before and being one for such ‘obscurities’ I quickly added it to my cart. It took me a month to complete, averaging 2/3 hours a day on it and I throughly enjoyed creating it. It kept my mind focused, allowed me to zone out from the madness of the world, and it certainly passed the time. I admittedly felt ‘lost’ as soon as I did it, so I wasted no time in ordering another, bigger one, which I’m currently waiting to be delivered…from China (I’ll leave that there). I Just need get my music on, set myself up and I can totally completely lose myself in various things, which yes is something that I have always done but this lockdown has opened me up to new things to do alongside that soundtrack.

Whilst I haven’t necessarily saved money (who was I kidding that this lockdown would stop me from shopping?!), I have just ended up spending it on a rather fabulous mop, humidifier, draught excluder, books (I read a lot anyways, but still), and puzzles, to name a few (who the hell  have I become?!), and WITHOUT A SINGLE CLOTHES, SHOE, TEQUILA OR JAGGERBOMB PURCHASE! This is something that will not be continued after lockdown because let’s face it, a gal needs her dancing shoes and shots.

I have had an app called ‘1 second everyday’ for many years, which is a picture journal made up of a single picture or video snippet you upload from each day. I use it when I go on trips, holidays, over Christmas etc, and as this coronavirus situation isn’t going anywhere anytime soon a lockdown montage has been created. I need to look back on this whole experience with having at least something to show for it, and so far there has been a picture/video taken everyday and today’s picture is from when I FaceTimed a friend earlier. Hopefully there will actually be a picture clinging wine glasses with this friend in the not too distant future, but for now – this is as good as it’s going to get.

Finally, and quite possibly the most positive thing (if that is the right wording) that has come from all of this, is being able to properly grieve for my wonderful Pappy who passed away in February. The funeral which was held in March was not long before I went into Isolation. Left with myself, my thoughts, sadness, anger and eventual acceptance; the lockdown really has been a haven to allow me to go through this on my own terms and in my own time.

My life hasn’t particularly changed in that I usually (albeit reluctantly) spend more time at home than the average Joe or Jean these days, and I’m always on high alert to stay away from people with colds etc due to my shockingly weak immune system (all I have to do is look in the direction of a sneeze a mile away to pick something up half of the time). I have certainly learnt becoming accustomed to being at home more, resting, and taking a much needed break from life and all of it’s ridiculousness.

Stay safe everyone


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